Words on the page.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine sent me a tweet: "Any book recommendations teachers of writing or any adult could use to cultivate their own writing journey?"

Answer: Of COURSE! Here are five suggestions -- four of them books -- from off the top of my head. There are so many writing books out there, many that I haven't read, and I bet that if anyone else wrote this post, they would list five different ones. What are your favorite recs? Would love to see them in the comments.

5. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King. I will be honest and say that I read this one several years ago, and parts of it blur in my memory, but I do remember greatly enjoying it. As one who's never been a big horror/suspense reader, this is the only Stephen King book I've read, and I was still fascinated by his tales of how he created his classics -- and, of course, his perspective as a writer. It's wonderfully readable.

4. The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr. Speaking of readability, Karr's latest book (she's also written the best-selling memoirs The Liars' Club and Lit) also ranks high. She teaches writing at Syracuse, and has put many of her best lessons into this book, while also giving examples from her own literary life.

3. The Situation and the Story: The Art of Personal Narrative by Vivian Gornick. This is the first book that my first graduate school advisor had all of his memoir students read. It's a fascinating exploration of personal writing's internal and external structure. For me, at the time that I read it, Gornick's reflections on writing voice were most helpful. The narrator of a memoir needed to be "me but not me," Gornick said; this was a phrase that I would return to many times as I hashed out my manuscript. No matter what type of writing you're doing or your ultimate goal, this book is worth a read. BrainPickings has a great article on it, as well, to give you a further sense of the content.

2. The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. This book is a 12-week guide for artists of any kind (humans of any kind, really), meant to spark your creativity and self-discovery. I started TAW in August 2012. A couple of months later, I wrote: "I'm currently in the midst of Week 8. There are a lot of questions and exercises and thought processes to go through, and I've enjoyed that. Most importantly, this program has taught me to write morning pages. Three pages every morning of whatever spills out of my mind. Even though I've journaled continuously for ten years, this is probably the most honest writing I've ever allowed myself to produce. And I feel like it's opened me up off the page too, with the desire to talk and laugh and be earnest and true with myself and others. Easier said than done, but it's a start."

1. Writing in the morning. This isn't a book, but it stems from The Artist's Way (as you can see above), and I also think that all of the books in the world can't replace the act of physically writing (by hand) at least once a day. I know this because I didn't do it for nearly two years, overrun with work + school + life. I missed it, but I didn't know how to return to it. It felt like a big thing to return to, and it may feel like a big thing to start, if you've never done it before. But suddenly, I started up again. Now I sit on the edge of the bed, set my clock for 3-5 minutes (depending on how late I've woken up), open to a fresh blank page, and write whatever comes out. Sometimes I write two pages, other times (like today), it's just one. Sometimes it has a flow and makes sense, other times it doesn't. And I hardly think about it. The words just appear, moving me along with them.

This has become such an important practice for me. Not only does it make me write regularly, making me a better writer by habit ("butt in chair," Anne Lamott says, and I have a love/hate relationship with the fact that she's right), but it clears my brain for the day ahead. It allows me to write down goals, responses, plans (if that's what happens to appear on the page)... or just random emotions, experiences, questions. This PsychCentral article talks a lot about the benefits of this type of therapeutic writing, in case you need more convincing. (Besides, who doesn't need to just write "Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap." every once in awhile?)

In 2012, I also wrote this: "In The Artist's Way Cameron talks a lot about the concept of synchronicity, urging us to notice how elements and events and relationships in our lives become intertwined or connected in ways we did not expect or plan."

I think that my daily writing practice also gives me a chance to recognize these moments of connection, on my own or with others. And you never know when you'll stumble into something that needs more than a page or two to be written about. That's where the books can help, encourage, and guide. But ultimately, nothing can beat the simple act of putting words on the page.

You can do it. Start here.

Social Media Sabbath.

It feels so good to quiet this part of my brain, which seems sometimes to take over every part.

I value social media and the connections it can build, the real-life relationships it can help sustain, the information it can offer, the laughs it can provide. But there's a reason I put "can" in front of every one of those verbs, and it's because there's a tipping point. As someone who works the social media circuit all day every day for both professional work and personal appreciation, it all starts to pile up.

So on most Sundays this spring, I've been taking a Social Media Sabbath. Yes, admittedly, sometimes I post a picture - and you'll almost definitely get a "Winter is coming, y'all!!" status update next Sunday - but I don't hang around to see the number of likes or comments. Except for those random moments here and there, I'm off the Facebook + Instagram + Twitter grid.

You'd be surprised how lovely and calming it feels. I soon forget that I'm missing updates from people, and I don't even give myself the option to check while I'm "bored" or have nothing else going on. What's more, my mind has taken quickly to the idea that this is off-limits on this day.

I can tell that the habit is building, because it feels good. It feels like sitting in front of the water, being lulled into rest by the gentle waves. What's going on far away, even next door, doesn't matter.

I don't need to know everything. I don't need to say everything. I can let a whole 24+ hours go by and live life in real time.

And when Monday comes, I don't find that I even rush right back into it. It comes, but slowly. Once I dive in, I again see the value the good elements of social media (and somehow the detriments stand out even sharper too...), and I can prep myself for another week.

Yes, this is a key way of how we connect now. But what freedom there is in having an hour-long coffee catch up with a friend, going to a committee meeting, taking a walk with my husband, writing some new material, listening to the writing of others, even drifting off to sleep - and not feeling that overtaking habit of pushing a button, glancing down and doing a quick scroll-through of other peoples' lives.

I've got my own life, a lovely one. I'll keep sharing some of its moments with you, and I appreciate the moments you choose to share with me. But on Sunday, I'm hitting the Pause button to enjoy the lapping of the waves.

The Friday Five: Feed My Soul

About a week ago, a friend whose opinion I value greatly messaged me with a question: should I really be framing this Friday (sometimes Saturday) series as what's saving my life this week? It sounds "like if you didn't have these things you would kill yourself," she wrote. "Why does your life need to be saved?"

It made me realize - rather naively, I admit - that this phraseology is a heavy concept for many people that has nothing to do with the light and lovely things of this world.

Why does my life need saving? I'm not dying, not sick, not depressed. At this moment in life, I have a solid mental and physical base from which to start each day. After all, it's not like these five people/places/things + honorable mentions are keeping me alive.

And yet...

I originally got the phrase and concept from Barbara Brown Taylor, specifically her book An Altar in the World (a book that, full disclosure, I haven't finished yet). She writes:

"Many years ago, a wise old priest invited me to come speak at his church in Alabama. 'What do you want me to talk about?' I asked him.

"'Come tell us what is saving your life now,' he answered. It was as if he had swept his arm across a dusty table and brushed all the formal china to the ground. I did not have to try to say correct things that were true for everyone. I did not have to use theological language that conformed to the historical teachings of the church. All I had to do was figure out what my life depended on. All I had to do was figure out how I stayed as close to that reality as I could, and then find some way to talk about it that helped my listeners figure out those same things for themselves.
[Emphasis mine.]

As soon as I finished reading my friend's message last week, I went back to that passage to make sure it was as deep and meaningful as I had first thought. It was. I then went back to some of my Friday Five blog posts to see if they stacked up. Well... My life definitely does not depend on "Girl Scout cookies + The West Wing," one of my entries from last week. Some moments in a week are superficial, yes. But does it not still mean that they help the stresses of the week in some way? Maybe that's what I'm trying to say by "saving my life" - getting me through the week. Not that I wouldn't get through the week without it, but these little things can make it better.

BBT also writes: "...What is saving my life now is becoming more fully human, trusting that there is no way to God apart from real life in the real world." [Emphasis mine.]

I think that idea - becoming more fully human, real life in the real world as a way to God, trying to share moments of goodness in my life so that other people recognize theirs... Is what I want to convey with these posts. Even in the midst of the silly and superficial, most of what I find sticking out to me in a week stems from experiences with people. And those do make my life worth living. They give me joy and feed my soul. 

I'm grateful to my friend for making me think about this more deeply, and consider how "saving my life" might come across to some. I don't think I'm done thinking about it, and if you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them.

Finally, to get down to business a day late...

1. We had a lovely family dinner - parents, brother, grandmother - at my folks' house last Friday night. It was a great way to end a long week, sitting around the same table eating spaghetti.

Thanks to Joseph McBrayer for the photo!

Thanks to Joseph McBrayer for the photo!

2. Our church had a volunteer event last Saturday packing meals for Stop Hunger Now, and I loved the fellowship it brought to our Fellowship Hall. I packed meals with a woman I call my honorary mama (the mom of one of my childhood friends) and two guys currently in our youth program. It was fun to talk with them about the similarities and differences of our beloved youth group ten years ago and now. One similarity: our group still has a penchant for belting "Bohemian Rhapsody" at the top of our lungs. Then the song actually came on over the speakers, and soon everyone was singing. All through this, we were packing upwards of 40,000 meals for people around the world. If there's a Stop Hunger Now event near you, you should definitely sign up.

3. A writing class participant told me that the class feels like John Wesley's Class Meeting. I took this as a huge compliment. Wesley is the founder of the Methodist denomination of Christianity, and back in the early days, he started the Class Meeting, a small group where people shared intimately about their life and faith journey. This is what I want my writing workshops to feel like - a place where people can feel comfortable with the teacher and their peers so they can write what they want to write, share authentically, laugh and cry. It meant a lot to me.

4. I've gotten to exercise every day this week, which has been great. I can really tell a difference when I work in even a 10-minute power walk in the morning.

5. My brain has felt stuffed to the brim these days, and this tends to up my anxiety. But I've gotten a chance to talk to others this week, both to vent and to listen, and it makes me realize that a lot of us are in the same boat. So much is going on this time of year, and our minds are piled with daily tasks, work projects, things we want to do, people to see... I need to remind myself that it's a LOT. And the fact that we can keep most of it straight most of the time is kind of a miracle in itself. So breathe.

I'm also loving my new logo! Read my interview with the designer and my friend Grace Barkley if you missed it on Thursday.