October Joys

Curious? Check out #6!

You may have noticed there haven't been many "Friday Five" posts around here recently, so I've decided to return to monthly favorites for the time being. October went by so quickly, but there were so many good moments in these 31 days. Here are a few:

1. We went to the beach! We didn't get to go on our regular trip this summer because of other exciting travel adventures, but I was hankering for the cottage and am grateful that we were able to work out our schedules to go (and celebrate our second wedding anniversary at the same time!). While we were there...

2. I took the entire four days off of social media and email, which I hadn't done in quite awhile, and it was balm for my soul. I love you people, but I get too entangled sometimes, and it was lovely to not even think about checking in. I felt healthy and inwardly clean in a different way, too.

3. I read new books! A Great Reckoning by Louise Penny (the newest Gamache mystery), Very Married by Katherine Willis Pershey (I am so glad this book exists, please read it), and A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle. The last one particularly struck me, perhaps especially while I was within my own "circle of quiet," in one of my favorite places, with my closest people, without the buzz of the world. As a writer and a seeker and a wife and a someday mother (don't read into this, people--I literally mean someday, as in I have no idea when), wondering how to hold all of those in tension, it felt like the perfect book to read, and to return to.

4. Birthday celebrations. I was born in October and so was my brother, so we had two cozy dinners at my parents' house in the middle of the month and again at the end. My mother has also begun making these phenomenal birthday cards out of old photos of us, and it's the best. Grateful for another year (and, let's face it, lots of cake).

5. Connecting with Davidson folks in Atlanta. We are Wildcats through and through, as anyone who knows us just a little bit is aware, and we got to attend two alumni events that introduced us to new Davidsonians in the area. The second was a morning spent working in a local community garden alongside the Atlanta Community Food Bank, which was a lot of fun, hard work, and quite satisfying to see the end result (and to enjoy some fried chicken at Paschal's afterwards).

6. Speaking of Davidson, we went up to the actual Exit 30 for one weekend, which was (predictably) lovely in every way, weather included (it actually felt like fall, wish Atlanta would catch the hint!). We got there around 10 a.m. on Saturday, hightailed it immediately to our favorite breakfast spot (that isn't our dining room table), went to the farmer's market, watched the 'Cats' annual Red & Black scrimmage, met up with lots of friends, walked our favorite black lab, finally ate at nationally-renowned Kindred, and... I participated in a reading with my old writing workshop peers at the Warehouse Performing Arts Center in Cornelius. My teacher and mentor Gilda graciously invited me back to take part, and boy was it great fun, and so meaningful. Eleven folks read original pieces of memoir, and it was such a reminder of why I love personal writing, and how it can move so deeply in our lives, both writer and reader/hearer. And for me, the most meaningful part was that several dear North Carolina friends came to support me. It was a wonderfully special evening.

(And then we watched the Cubs win the pennant and the next morning we went to our favorite breakfast place one more time and then headed back to ATL. There are always mixed feelings, but mine is primarily gratitude that our two places are less than half a day's drive away from one another. And yet, we always have to choose.)

7. Clint read in Atlanta! For those of you who don't know my college classmate Clint Smith, let me introduce you. Go to his website and check out his tour dates, watch his TED Talk, buy and read his new book of poetry, Counting Descent. It was a gift to sit outside on a warm (sigh) evening at A Cappella Books and listen to his poems and his reflections about so many relevant pieces of our country's history and current situation. He's an inspiration. Speaking of which...

8. ...My reading in Cornelius, plus listening to/talking with Clint, were the final straws, as it were, that helped me open up my memoir manuscript that I wrote for my MFA program and haven't really touched since January. I think it's good that I've taken that time away, but I also feel like I have something to create (or finish creating, make better), and I've been too afraid? undisciplined? busy? to bring it back to the forefront. So I'm doing my best. And you may not see me around here as much until it's done (or you may, if I'm procrastinating). But I want this to be something, and it's not going to be until I take action.

9. I got to take a work field trip! I drove up to Emory's Oxford College campus last week for research on a feature story, and got to shadow a class visiting the school's organic farm. It was fun and refreshing to be on a small college campus and watch the kids (yes, that's how I think of them now) experience the afternoon. I wish I could have spent more time there--it's where my great-grandfather started school at Emory (back when this was the only campus) in the early 1900s.

10. We had a delicious staff potluck last Friday, which was a great way to kick off the weekend. Fellowship, food, and Friday -- hard to beat that combination.

Finally, I wanted to share this article that I stumbled across today, the first day of a new month, on tuning out technology to tune in God. And I'm going to try it. Join me?

What about you? What were your favorite moments in October? Anyone else waiting for it to actually feel like November, temps-wise?

29 things to do before I turn 30.

Good morning from me as Year 30 begins! I'm trying to ignore my growling stomach before my annual physical this morning by putting together my list of hopes and goals for the coming year. This is a fun and helpful practice that i picked up from my friend and mentor Rosie Molinary the year I turned 25. While I don't tend to do an official recap of each year's list to see how "well" I did on achieving these things before my next birthday, when I do go back through them, I definitely get a sense that many of these elements of my life have slowly shifted in the direction I wanted them to go. Sometimes it takes a couple of birthdays to see any movement, and that's fine, too. I also notice that there are often repetitions--lessons I need to keep learning or areas of life that I still want to flesh out and enrich. With each year, I have the privilege of adding one more number to the list, another way to intentionally seek a full life.

1. Walk 10,000 steps every weekday. I know it's doable because I'm currently doing it. We'll see how winter factors in, because a lot of these steps currently happen outside, but I hope I'll just suck it up, grab my jacket/hat/gloves, and head out anyway.

2. Increase jogging capabilities from one mile to three. Big news, guys: the other week, I discovered that I can jog one mile (four laps) on a flat track without being too, too out of breath. Mind. Blown. I'd like to up that, if possible. Who knows if hills will ever be involved.

3. Visit a new place. This shows up on my list pretty much every year, and I think every year it's come to pass. I know we'll be heading to Chicago for a wedding next year--yes, sadly, Chicago is a new place for me--and who knows what else will appear on the horizon? (Any suggestions?)

4. Organize our home office. This is definitely a repeater. It's a mess. And I know it can be less messy and more actually usable as an office.

5. Hang more photos and art on the walls. And get said photos and art framed first!

6. Go to the mountains. I'm hankering for cool air, sweet views, and hike-sore muscles.

7. Lead at least one one-day writing workshop. I currently lead a writing group every other week, but I know that not everyone who's interested is able to attend when that's scheduled. So I'm hoping to put together a couple of opportunities for people to just show up once and learn about life writing (and do some writing, of course!).

8. Add a couple of new dinner recipes to my repertoire (and keep trying bread). Sean is the main cook around here, hallelujah, but I'd like to have more than just one recipe that I can throw together easily, especially as he takes on more responsibility at work. Also, I would love to someday not have to buy bread at the store.

9. Eat a wider variety of vegetables. We basically have broccoli and salad every week, and I know we're missing out on so many more! (Any suggestions on veggies or how to prepare them?)

10. Increase hand weight amounts. This I definitely count as a success thanks to earlier lists; I moved from 3s and 5s to 8s and 10s, and while I'll probably keep those as my primary weights, I'd love to be able to comfortably use 12s and 15s.

11. Write and send real birthday cards. A way to purposefully connect with important people in my life all over the country, not to mention a practice that is going out of fashion thanks to the Internet.

12. Practice real life vulnerability. This one and #13 really feel important to me this year, and I'm crediting and thanking writer/blogger Rachel Held Evans for both of them. RHE mentioned this in a webinar that I took the other week about developing your writing voice for memoir/blogging. She stressed that too often, we think that being really open (too open?) and honest in a Facebook status or anywhere online means that we're being truly vulnerable. But real vulnerability, she says, is actually practiced away from our screens and devices, in real life conversations and situations. It is here that we cultivate our relationships and learn about our true selves and others; not on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, no matter how helpful those platforms can sometimes be for expressing yourself. So, as someone who enjoys and appreciates the Internet and social media for making connections to friends new and old, I want to be purposeful and aware of practicing vulnerability, openness, and honesty in my flesh-and-blood daily life.

13. Keep good secrets. Connected to this, RHE says that it's important to "keep good secrets"-- a.k.a. don't broadcast everything in your life on social media, y'all. Don't take a picture of everything. Lessen your grip on FOMO (fear of missing out) (or having people think you're missing out because you're not taking a picture of it!) and realize that some moments--many moments, if we really stop to think about it-- are meant for just you, or just you and your closest people. Not everything needs a ton of virtual likes, and or a ton of time spent wondering why you didn't get as many likes. I think I struggle with this sometimes, because I do really enjoy sharing, but taking Saturdays off from social media has been a huge step.

14. Visit friends in NYC. I just threw this in here because I haven't been up to the Big Apple in nearly six years, and both of my trips have been great fun. I'd love to go back!

15. Get new passport. Yeah, that whole thing about getting all my documents changed with my married name? Still happening...probably eternally happening...But I would like to visit other countries again someday, so, there's that incentive.

16. Keep actively seeking to be an ally for my sisters and brothers of color, my world siblings who are LGBTQ, and all others who need my listening ear and my measured voice.

17. See a writer I love speak/read in person.

18. Vote. Duh.

19. Don't shy away from hard conversations. Since I'm not a confrontational person, this can be tough, but I aim to try.

20. Save at least $100 per paycheck.

21. Get a library card. This has been on here for awhile. Maybe I should add: get a library card, and actually use it to borrow books (Amazon Prime is so good and so dangerous).

22. Have people over to our house more often. I definitely want to throw a Christmas open house this year. (And maybe buy some new dining room chairs and other small furnishings.)

23. Stretch regularly. I haven't been flexible since I was like, four. Hopefully I'm not too far gone.

24. Write what I feel called to write. This feels slightly like a cop out because I think it should probably read, "REVISE MY DANG MEMOIR MANUSCRIPT FROM GRADUATE SCHOOL THAT I WORKED SO HARD ON AND WANT TO SUBMIT FOR PUBLICATION SOMEDAY..." (I typed this in a sing-song voice, if you're wondering.) I do think it's been important to take time off from that creative venture, since I did spend so much time on it, but I really want to feel inspired to return to it and make it better. And maybe this comes to Anne Lamott's "butt in chair" tactic rather than starting with inspiration--Just start. But at the same time, along the lines of what I actually wrote in bold, I do want to feel passionate about whatever I choose to write in my free time, not forced.

From my grandmother's birthday book.

25. Start a blog email/newsletter. I'm on the road to this--subscribe here!

26. Try a new spiritual practice, like keeping a Psalms notebook or Lectio Divina.

27. Support friends who are writers, artists, creators. Like these folks, and more!

28. Approach all with compassion/do not fear/be present. Okay, this is a lot, but I think they all connect. I don't understand the fear permeating our country, and I pray that I may live counter-culturally in these ways, even when it is difficult.

29. Have a big 30th birthday party. Enough said! Cheers to a new turn around the sun.

The Friday Five: Two Weeks' Worth.

You know that Friday night when you spend an hour and a half on your two weeks' worth of recaps and then Firefox crashes and you forgot to press Save and suddenly it's alllllll gone...?

Yeah.

Let's see if I can sum it up.

We did a Habitat build day, painting, sweating, laughing, and getting to know some great folks.

I was inspired by my coworker Hannah to try bread-baking with this King Arthur Flour recipe, and it was a success! (a.k.a. it was fully cooked and edible and actually tasted like bread.) Especially delish with butter and Sean's favorite four fruits jam.

My writing group started back for the semester with familiar and new faces, and it always reminds me of the benefits of personal writing, and the gift it can be to share with a trusted group.

We celebrated Sean's birthday with both our families, good BBQ, and a delicious creamy cookies cake from Publix (Publix bakery never fails, our wedding cake included). I am so very thankful that we not only like our families, but that they enjoy each other, too.

I've been jogging more recently, though my latest jaunt ended with two scraped knees for the first time since I was, like, eight. And this week I've walked 10,000 steps every day this week, which is definitely a first in terms of regular work weeks. It's taken just a few tweaks to my usual habits, like walking up and down five flights of stairs when I don't need to, and taking regular walks around campus with a friend. It feels great to know this can be done, even with a primarily desk job.

My dad went up to Virginia to visit friends (and, you know, do a century bike ride, no big deal) and ended up worshiping at the church in Richmond where I spent the summer before my senior year. Even though I couldn't be there, it was wonderful to know that he spent the morning with some of my favorite people who have had such an impact on my life.

It's been another difficult week for our country, especially in the Queen City of Charlotte that Sean and I love so much. During this time, I'm grateful for my college classmate Clint Smith and his first book of poetry, Counting Descent, and his important voice that I hope will continue to reach more and more people. I'm also thankful for friends and coworkers who I can talk with and listen to, and who help hold me accountable in continuing to learn how I can be an ally for for my black sisters and brothers, to learn how to use both words and silence to process and help create the changes that we so desperately need, to dismantle the systems of oppression and privilege that keep some from having all the freedoms that we are all promised.

How about you? What's keeping you going in the midst of this crazy world?